The word 'networking' makes many people cringe.

Walking into a room full of strangers and handing out resumes to "build connections" feels unnatural.

Online networking can be even tougher, with direct messages often feeling awkward or transactional at best. But networking doesn't have to feel like you're faking it. At its core, networking is about building relationships. When you approach it this way, it becomes less scary and more genuine.

The discomfort stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of what networking should be. It's not about collecting business cards or making strategic moves. It's about finding people who share your interests, challenges, and professional landscape. When you shift this perspective, everything changes.

One reason networking feels uncomfortable is the "what can you do for me?" mindset. Think about the people you enjoy working with or learning from. They are usually curious, thoughtful, and genuine. That's the energy you want to bring too.

Instead of approaching someone thinking about how they can advance your career, consider what you genuinely want to learn from them. Maybe their career path intrigues you. Perhaps they work in an industry you're curious about. Leading with authentic interest rather than hidden agendas transforms networking from a transaction into a conversation. Even a thoughtful comment on someone's post or a genuine thank you after a workshop can start a relationship.

You don't have to speak in buzzwords or use fancy titles if that's not your style. When reaching out or introducing yourself, keep it real. If you're excited about someone's work, say so specifically. If you're new to an industry and still figuring things out, own that honestly.

Sara Bederman, an interior designer in Mississauga, used to think networking was "fake, forced and only for people in suits." She didn't know how to sell herself and hated feeling like she was using people. She's also extremely shy by nature, making traditional networking feel like a nightmare.

But she realized networking is just talking to people who get it. She started reaching out to others, not for jobs, but to connect. She joined groups, commented on professional networking posts, and showed up to virtual meetups without pressure. Those conversations grew into friendships and eventually led to freelance opportunities.

Start With Simple Questions

Opening up a conversation can feel intimidating, but starting with a simple question makes all the difference. You don't need a perfect icebreaker; something as straightforward as, "What brings you here?" or "What do you do?" can do wonders. Asking a question takes the pressure off both you and the person you're talking to. It's an easy entry point that invites the other person to share a bit about themselves, without requiring you to have a clever opening line ready.

Instead of worrying about what you'll say next, focus on listening. People love sharing their stories, and one of the easiest ways to connect is by simply letting them talk. Ask questions, show genuine interest, and give them the space to open up.

Think Long Term, Not Transactional

Networking is ultimately about building relationships, and relationships take time. The more touchpoints you create, the more visible and memorable you become. That familiarity makes people more likely to think of you when opportunities come up.

Remember, no one owes you anything. Don't go into the conversation expecting them to offer you a job. Go in trying to make a new friend or professional acquaintance. If you've shared your story authentically and they find it compelling, they'll often offer to help without you needing to ask.

Follow up after meaningful conversations. Shoot them a text or email thanking them for their time, mention some things you loved discussing, and as a bonus, you can even include an interesting article related to a conversation topic. Periodically connect with them. Relationships are a long game, so you need to put in effort too.

Choose Your Own Style

It doesn't take an extrovert to succeed professionally. If mingling in large groups or being loud isn't the way you are most comfortable interacting, instead have one-on-one sessions. One-on-one sessions can help you slowly break into the mode of being conversational. Being natural will boost not only your confidence but it also encourages others to be comfortable around you.

You don't have to attend every networking event or conference. Find environments that suit your personality. Virtual meetups, small industry gatherings, or even online communities can provide networking opportunities that feel less forced and more natural.

The truth is, networking isn't about proving you're impressive. It's about finding connections with people who are often just as nervous or unsure as you are. With each genuine conversation, you start to feel more like you belong in the room, rather than someone just trying to fit in. When you approach networking as relationship building rather than strategic positioning, it stops feeling like work and starts feeling like what it should be: human connection with professional benefits.